What's up with men & animal noises?

Men are often fascinated with things that are beyond women's comprehension. Lucky for me, I happened to discover ONE of their fascinations: Animal noises. But I'm not talking about your pet's bark, meow or ribbit. Strangely, I'm referring to a gaggle of drunken chicks around 2 am at your local bar.

While at Granfalloon a while back, approximately eight chickfriends and I decided to have a girls' night out. Its typically rare to get all of us together on the same evening (particularly since a few of the girls are now hitched). We had claimed our territory (NOT the way dogs do) at the end of the bar. Its safe to say that we were mighty toasty with all the mixed drinks, shots and local brew we had been inhaling. Being very social, we had an easy time roping in the dudes.

Because we were out to have a great time, we often said random things to dudes just to make each other laugh. Sometimes the guys laughed with us and sometimes they moved on to the next group of drunken girls. But two of the guys just would not go away. I heard one of my chickfriends call someone a "Goat," her term for a drunk person. Then she made a short, but loud-enough goat noise. Well, it caught on very quickly, and before long, our whole group was obnoxiously making goat noises. We even put our fingers up to our heads and acted like we were going to headbutt each other. All of this in effort to get these two guys to walk away.

Well, for some reason, acting like goats had an opposite effect. There must have been 20 dudes encircling us, trying to get in on the action. And the more we did it, the more they came over to us. I find this bizarre. Perhaps they just viewed us as drunk chicks they could take home, but the more we denied free beers from them, the longer they stayed with us. That is probably the funniest tactic we've ever used to get male attention unintentionally.

DIDN'T YOU KNOW? Chicks, if a couple of dudes simply will not leave you alone at a bar, say stupid crap. If they still don't go away, bust out some goat noises. Unfortunately those guys will still NOT go away, but you'll have a FLOCK of new dudes coming at you. Then you can turn your attention to the new guys. Just remember, do this if you ever get stuck between a rock wall and a hard dude.

This is the word of The Superficial Plaza Chick